Animal Jokes

6 minutes of smiles

Funny Animal Riddles, Puns and Jokes!

A Goat's Beard is Called a Goatee Pun

What do you call a goat’s beard?

A goatee!

What does a cow keep in her purse?

Lots of moo-la!

How do you know it’s a mouse’s birthday?

He’s blowing out candles on his cheese-cake.

What did the owl think when it lost its voice?

It didn’t give a hoot!

Llamas and alpacas might not be identical twins, but they are spitting images of each other!

What do you call a bear who forgot his raincoat?

A drizzly bear!

What time do chickens wake up in the morning?

Five o’cluck!

A Frog's Favorite Flower Is A Croakus

What is a frog’s favorite flower?

A croakus.

What does an orangutan always carry on his shoulders?

His head!

A duck crosses the road and goes into the drug store to purchase some lip gloss. The cashier asks the duck how it wants to pay. The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Pole!

Why does a horse always show up on time?

Because he is neigh-ver late!

Where can you find a zebra?

Wherever you left him!

How do you tell the difference between a cow and a lemon?

Give it a squeeze! If you don’t get lemon juice, it’s a cow!

Bison's Charge When He Get's Out His Credit Card

How do you know when a bison is getting ready to charge?

He gets out his credit card.

Skunks aren’t good secret keepers.

Someone is always catching wind of them.

Why did the grizzly bear like the orange knock knock joke?

Because it bears repeating!

Why couldn’t the dog use his computer?

Because the cat kept eating the mouse!

I didn’t know we had so many birds! It went right over my head!

How do cardinals drink?

They drink out of red beak-ers!

Which animal is wet while it is still sunny?

A rain-deer!

Funny Pun Chickens Look Tired Because They Lay Eggs Around the Cluck

Why did the chickens look so tired?

They were laying eggs around the cluck.

Why wouldn’t the elephants go swimming at the public pool?

They were afraid of losing their trunks.

What kind of animal wears shoes that never need to be tied?

A horse!

Why did the ponies keep getting in trouble?

Because they wouldn’t stop foaling around!

What’s the best way to paint a fish?

Watercolor paint!

The doctor told the Hyena he had a clean bill of health and asked, “What’s your secret?”

The Hyena answered, “Laughter is the best medicine!”

What do you call a made up story about a giraffe?

A tall tale!

  • What is black and white and black and white?

A penguin on a merry-go-round.

What can fly underwater?

A bird in a submarine!

What did one to toad say to the other?

Warts up?

What did the father sloth say to his son?

Quit hanging around and get to work!

Did the giraffe share the mountain joke with you?

Never mind, I don’t think you will get over it!

How do you get into Bambi’s house?

You ring the deer bell!

Did You Hear About the Dog Who Retired From Surfing? The Waves Got Too Ruff.

Why did the dog retire from surfing?

The waves got too ruff.

What time does a duck’s alarm clock go off?

At the quack of dawn!

Why are cat accountants so good at their jobs?

Because they use meow-culators!

Why did the dog need an umbrella?

Because there was a hole in his ruff.

What do you call a horse playing in its snowy pasture?

A chilly filly!

What outdoor game do barnyard animals love to play?

Horseshoes!

Animal Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Owls go!

Owls go who?

I didn’t know you spoke owl!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Kanga!

Kanga who?

No, Kangaroo!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goat.

Goat who?

You’re trying to get my goat!

Just let me in!!!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cat.

Cat who?

Can you hear me meow?