30 + Funny Christmas Jokes

7 minutes of smiles
Christmas is the time when everyone wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.Phyllis Diller

Christmas Puns, Riddles and One-Liners

Christmas tree pun joke

What did the Christmas tree say to Santa’s elf?

“Have I got a joke fir you!”

Who delivers presents to all the woodland creatures great and small?

Santa-squatch!

Why did the chicken cross the road a week before Christmas?

To beat the holiday traffic!

What did the chicken do after he crossed the road?

Opened his Christmas presents!

What did Mrs. Claus’s hat say to her scarf?

I’ll go on a-head if you’ll hang around for a while!

Why do elves use topographic maps?

To measure the elf-evation of the North Pole !

Why couldn’t the computer play Christmas music on Christmas Eve?

Because, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!

Funniest Santa pun

Why doesn’t Santa have a problem going down the chimney?

He’s not Claus-terphobic!

Can Santa jump higher than the Christmas tree?

Of course, Christmas trees can’t jump!

Why did the snowflake cross the road?

It landed on the chicken’s back!

Silliest snowflake cross the road joke

Why did the snowflake cross the road?

It landed in Santa’s bag!

Why were the letters A and B sad?

They couldn’t join C and D in December!

What do schools of fish read before Christmas vacation?

A Christmas Coral!

As a little boy, how did Santa spell his favorite Christmas treat?

P-u-m  P-u-d-d-i-n-g  (No-l)!

What type of literature do elves write?

Short stories!

Where do house cats do their holiday shopping?

Through cat-alogs!

Christmas joke about knitting humor

Where do you shop for knitters at Christmas?

Wool-mart!

What did one snowman ask the other snowman?

“Do you smell carrots?”

What do snowmen like to eat?

Ice burgers with the works!

What did the snowman say when he saw Santa?

Nothing, snowmen can’t talk!

How do the elves celebrate December 26?

With a relaxing cup of hot chocolate and short-bread cookies!

Silly Christmas unicorn joke

What do unicorns hang on their Christmas trees?

Horn-aments!

Where does Santa like to go on vacation?

Wherever there’s a yule tide!

Why does Santa like talking to the Easter Bunny?

Because he is all ears!

Why are Christmas elves so good at their jobs?

They majored in elf-onomics!

Funny Christmas kitten joke

Who checks the naughty and nice list for kittens?

Santa Claws!

How did the shepherd greet his flock on Christmas morning?

Merry Christmas to all of ewe!

What smells so good around the Christmas tree?

Your nose!

The best Christmas present joke

Where does your mom find the best Christmas presents?

Wherever she left them!

What do grumpy bugs say at Christmas time?

“Bah humbug!”

May your Christmas be filled with laughter and love!

Christmas Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Butter.

Butter who?

Butter get ready, Christmas is almost here!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive Christmas music, let’s dance!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Gladys.

Gladys who?

I’m so Gladys Christmas time!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Waldo.

Waldo who?

Waldo we do if we don’t hang the stockings by the chimney with care?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to wait long to open our presents?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ester.

Ester who?

Ester any more presents under the tree for me?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Philip.

Philip who?

Philip my stocking with wonderful gifts please!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Anita.

Anita who?

Anita get my jacket before we go out caroling!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke over there for the presents Mom and Dad hid!

Save water this Christmas season, drink cocoa!

Funny Christmas Tongue Twisters

Santa’s soup is simmering for a savory supper celebrating the season!

Merrily meet me on a mistletoe mission!

Placing presents precisely for a pleasing picture by the tree!

Christmas cookies cutters and cocoa cups clutter the kitchen counter!