Fun Halloween Jokes, Puns and Riddles
If you stare at a pumpkin long enough, you realize it’s gourdeous!
Why did the vampire wake up in the middle of the day?
Because he was having a bite-mare!
What is a pumpkin’s favorite thing to learn in math class?
The Pie-thagorean Theorem!
Why doesn’t Cinderella go to sports practice?
Because she runs away from the ball and has a pumpkin for a coach!
What game do little goblins and ghouls play?
Hide and shriek!
How many monsters can count?
I don’t know, YOU ask them!
What do pasta-loving ghosts eat for dinner?
What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
What did the ghoulish monster say to his teenage son?
“I’ve got my eye on you!”
Why don’t you ever see skeletons perform comedy routines?
It doesn’t tickle their funny bone!
Why don’t skeletons like to go skydiving?
The don’t have the guts!
Why don’t skeletons like bungie jumping?
They don’t find it humorous!
Where do ghosts go birthday shopping for their kids?
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
Where do mummies go for a swim?
The Dead Sea!
What’s the best way to talk to a ghoul?
From as far away as possible!
What does the ghost dress up in to go out to dinner?
Her most boo-tiful sheet!
A full trick-or-treat bag has just the right amount of candy in it to make a great dinner!
How did the mummy fix the hole in his wrapping?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween Ball?
He had no body to go with.
What did the werewolf say when he welcomed guests to his Halloween party?
“Howl are you doing tonight?”
What did the werewolf do when he heard the funny joke?
He howled in fright!
Who did the monster go to the haunted house with?
Why didn’t the skeleton eat the chili at the tailgate party?
He didn’t have the stomach for it!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts!
What do squirrels say on Halloween?
Trick or tree?
What do tractor-trailers say on Halloween?
Truck or treat?
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
When is the Halloween moon at its heaviest?
When it’s full!
If someone asks you how many pieces of candy you would like, the correct answer is, “All of them!”
What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don’t spook until you’re spooken to!
What do you say to an angry monster?
“Really, no need to bite my head off!”
Which room do the undead never use?
The living room!
Who is the scary fairy afraid of?
The fright sprite!
What do you call a scary chicken?
Where can Dracula find a comfortable coffin?
Wherever he left it!
Why was the mummy tense?
His job had him all wound up!
What is a werewolf’s favorite day of the week?
What is a werewolf’s favorite night to party?
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash-and-wear wolf.
How do you make a pumpkin spice milk shake?
Give it a good scare!
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Where do ghosts buy fuel for their cars?
At the ghoul-station!
Halloween Knock Knock Jokes
Hey, don’t cry! It’s just a joke!
I bat you’re going to have fun trick-or-treating tonight!